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The Buckhorn

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Winters Express
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Trump inspires me to do what they say I can’t do

By Robert Fischer
Numb. That’s what a lot of people are. Maybe it was what people felt after the Cubs won the World Series for the first time in 108 years. If they could win, anything’s possible.
The impossible became the possible when Donald J. Trump pulled off a win no one could see coming. Only Michael Moore, the left wing critic that looks like a fat slob, had the audacity to predict it. The next day, when Hillary conceded, she looked like she was about to cry.
It was the biggest political upset since Harry Truman’s unexpected victory in 1948. Out of 120 million votes cast, Trump won by 106,000 votes spread out in four critical states that put him over the top in electoral votes and delivered him a win that could not have taken place in any other country.
I am sorry to announce that this will probably be my last column. A stroke on Dec. 13 was a great setback for me. I guess it’s about time to throw in my two cents worth about our awesome president. That’s what Ann Coulter, the right wing writer, has called him in one of her latest books, “In Trump We Trust.” I got the book free at the Winters library from the giveaway rack near the front.
Coulter isn’t much to look at. She’s a beanpole, but is funny and entertaining. Trump is her dream come true.
I thought of Trump after my stroke had taken place and everyone was telling me what I couldn’t do. They told me to stay in a wheelchair and keep being dependent, but I had Trump to inspire me.
He did things everyone told him were just not what he was able to do. He sticks his middle finger at everybody and isn’t afraid of any of the so-called “experts.” Like in the Aesop’s fable, “The Tortoise and the Hare,” he plodded along and came across the finish line ahead of the Hillary the hare, who had everything necessary to win the race and was so sure she was going to triumph, she took a rest under the shade of a tree and let the projected loser slowly pass her by.
It’s just like diets. Those that are supposed to work don’t and the craziest ones actually deliver the goods. People make New Year’s resolutions to lose weight and it’s just about at this time they find out they aren’t losing the pounds they had expected to.
Let me offer one of the zaniest diets I can think of: The McDonald’s Big Mac Diet. It might as well be the Burger King Whopper Diet since we don’t have the Golden Arches around here.
Lose weight by eating two Big Macs or Whoppers a day, one around 10-11 a.m. and the second one at 4 p.m. But no super-size value meals. Walk back and forth to the fast food place on foot to burn calories (at least a mile each way from Winters proper) and only drink water.
Those high-calorie burgers are good.
Stop letting people laugh at you. I should call this the Trump You Can’t Do It Diet. He’s 70 years old but has the stamina of a person much younger. There can’t be a McDonald’s that far from Trump Tower. Maybe he could try it and make some more headlines for himself and maybe pay me a fat fee.
I’ve resigned myself to just writing letters to the editor. As long as four letter words are not used, I believe that they will get printed, at least from what I’ve been told. I can actually tell people that Trump is one of my heroes and let the chips fall where they may.
America and Big Macs first.