An anonymous column

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Lately I have noticed something very important is missing in our little town of Winters California. I couldn’t quite put my finger on exactly what was missing but I knew there was something very wrong and it didn’t smell good! As I walked around the downtown area I soon found over 125 people wandering around feeling exactly as I was. At that exact moment in time it dawned on us what was making all the bad odors.

Donald K. Sanders, whom many call the Vox Populi, has all but vanished. I decided to check it out by going to his house to see why he hasn’t been in the paper lately. His door opened when I knocked on it and I found him lying on his floor sobbing; tears running down his face. He said,”Go away; I don’t want to talk about it!”

I listened to him as the tears ran down his extremely handsome face and it was almost too much for me to bear. He said, “The-the-Winters Express don’t – don’t want me no more!” He went on to tell me that he has been writing for the Express for almost 30 years, since 2004! He said there were good times and bad because some of his readers told him they would kill him if he kept on writing the crap he writes but he wrote it anyway.

He told me of how lonely he was as a big newspaper writer guy because everybody was afraid to talk to him because he put everything they said in the paper. He felt that if he could continue writing for the paper he would be a synch of Citizen of the Year and maybe even a Pulitzer Prize for his thoughtful, excellent writing skills. That said, he went back to rolling on the floor bawling like a baby girl.

He told me that he would soon be just a sad nobody just like everybody else in Winters but I said, “I wouldn’t worry too much about it though because only a dummy would read your column anyway.” He replied, “Yeah, but I was a somebody; I was an impotent man; a newspaper guy!”

When I left he had his hands on his neck choking himself.

Written by an Anonymous Guy using Don’s email.


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