Archeology

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My friend Terry knows everything about everything. He is a G-man (Government Man) that works for the City of Winters. He is a pretty smart guy and he has all of the secret information that no one else even thought about. He and I spread some hay on the area where the tree fell over on Putah Creek Road. Terry says the hay will slow down the erosion and I guess he is right about that.

Anyway, there is a large concrete box-like structure on the south bank, just about in the center of the nature park on Putah Creek. I couldn’t think of anyone better to ask so I say, “Hey Terry, what is that big box for?”

Terry looks at me and says, “In the absence of good information bad information will prevail.”

Ok, so I think to myself, “Oh, I don’t know what that means,” but I thought I should listen to what he had to say.

Terry actually knew quite a bit of information about the concrete box and he told me this was privileged information. I like thinking of myself as privileged. As it turned out Terry performed a detailed study of the box some years ago and it cost the city like a million dollars. Terry said that no one really knows how old the box is or who built it. “It could be thousands of years old, no one knows!” he explained.

He says that although it looks like a concrete box his instruments offered some differing results.

This is what he told me about those results, “These results, however, do command attention and should encourage further inspection using more sophisticated metrology instruments such as autocollimators and specialized laser alignment equipment that can provide surface mapping and orthogonal tolerances.

“I did use a Brown and Sharp radius gauge to inspect the corner radius where the two surfaces meet. I can testify that when I went through my set of radius gauges in order to select the closest fit, the 5/32 inch (4 Millimeters)-radius gauge fit snugly into the corner.

“The inside corners are a confounding puzzle. It doesn’t make sense to such a small dimension. Next to make sure the inside surface was perfectly flat to the tangency point of the radius causes great consternation among technologist who are familiar with this kind of work.

“The added cost of having a 5/32 inch radius as opposed to a 24 inch radius would be astronomical if the material was worked by hand.

“The engineering context of precision where precision is not necessary indicates the existence of sophisticated tools. The existence of these tools must be taken into account when we consider the mountain of circumstantial evidence to support their use.”

So then I thought to myself, “OK I don’t know what that means.” To make him think I was intelligent I asked what they might have used it for, to which he replied, “Hell, I don’t know!”

Well I guess that’s what happens when you try to hold a conversation with one of those smart G-men.

I didn’t know what to do at this point so I decided that from now on I’m going to pretend the concrete box isn’t even there even if you can see it from across the creek and it is the biggest structure in the nature park. I do know one thing though and that is if you go down there after dark and shine a flashlight on the box it will seem to light up and when the flashlight is removed it goes dark again.

Another weird thing that occurs regularly at the park is the mysterious artwork and hieroglyphic writing on the columns of the pedestrian bridge. They are really colorful and I kind of like them.

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