Sophie Says: Love for words

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A Winters Express op-ed column

Gramps Says My sister Carolynn forwarded to me the results of an annual contest sponsored by The New York Times that selected the best lexophile submitted to them in 2018. It went on to explain that “lexophile” describes one who has a love for words, such as “You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish,” or “To write with a broken pen is pointless.” Here are some of the submissions. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do. “I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.” “Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?” “I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, then it dawned on me.” “England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.” “A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.” A lexophile as used by the New York Times refers to both a person who has a love for words and the phrase that he loves. That seems odd to me but in keeping with the times, here are a few more lexophiles. “When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.” “A bicycle can’t stand alone; it’s two tired.” “The guy who fell into an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered.” “Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.” This last entry was selected as the best. You can find more entries by searching the internet. Sophie would like to extend an invitation. Let’s see what kind of trouble this will get us into. Sophie Says I invite you to submit a lexophile to be printed in Sophie Says. Here are the rules: 1. Submissions must refer to dogs or Winters landmarks, politics, business, culture and etc. 2. Submissions must be received on or before Friday, Aug. 13. As I don’t have a bank account nor do I carry a wallet or purse you will be graded and rewarded by tail wags. Send your submissions to news@wintersexpress.com “attn. Sophie Says” in the subject line. My favorite lexophile: “A dog gave birth near a road and was cited for littering.” Arf, Arf. As Gramps has an inside track he isn’t eligible for the contest so here is his early submission. “The dam got a break but the City of Winters didn’t, it flooded.” That’s worth a couple of tail wags at least. In keeping with the folly of my becoming mayor here is another Gramps entry. “In the race to be mayor you’ve got to run.” And finally, an entry that is ineligible because it has already been used in a previous column, “The reason the Winters cemetery locks the entry gate every night is because people are dying to get in.”

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