Sophie Says: Sophie running for mayor

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Gramps Says Some years ago, probably in the late 1980’s a headline in the San Francisco Chronicle read, ‘Mayor runs off with Bitch.’ The story explained that the mayor was a dog who spent most of his time snoozing on the front porch of the local bar in Sunol and had mysteriously disappeared for a while. We assume he was carrying out his plan to increase his constituency. As I recall, the article stated that the locals had elected him as mayor as a means to assure that nothing would be done to promote suburban spread into their community. A search on Google verifies that several residences submitted Bosco, a black Labrador mix as a candidate for election against two humans who ran for the office of Honorary Mayor of the unincorporated town of Sunol.  Bosco won. Bosco had the run of the town. He led the Halloween parade and would attend Sunol events and social gatherings wearing his tuxedo. Bosco won international fame when the Chinese Communist newspaper Peoples Daily used him as an example of why democracy didn’t work. He was an invited guest at the Chinese consulate in San Francisco during the Tiananmen uprising as a symbol of democracy and freedom.  Bosco passed away in 1994 and is remembered and honored with a bronze statue located under the town clock next to the post office. There is also a specially engineered Bosco-like stuffed dog in the restaurant Bosco Bones and Brew. Upon request, the bartender will lift his hind leg and Bosco will pee you a pint of beer.  This precedent for a dog as mayor offers up an interesting possibility for the no-growth faction of the residents of Winters. A mayor who would assure that nothing would be done is the perfect plan. I suggest that an ad hoc committee be formed, comprised of the frequent visitors of the Walnut Park Dog Run to vet the candidates. Drew and George come quickly to mind to chair the committee and they can invite a few other responsible citizens to participate.  Sophie Says Should I be selected as a candidate I will promise to run on a ‘Do Nothing’ platform, but with one exception, I will put an indefinite moratorium on any new traffic light signals as they are a symbol of growth and tend to proliferate faster than Bosco’s puppies.  I would require that the mayor’s chair at city council meetings be large enough to accommodate a good sized cushion and the fixed agenda will be as follows: 1. Introductory to the meeting, mayor circles three times on the cushion and lays down. 2. Council takes a nap. 3.  Council takes a recess. 4. All matters to be voted on are postponed to the next council meeting.

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