There aren’t even words to describe this feeling … until now

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You people are awesome.

I asked readers to invent a new word that captures the feeling that goes with a Donald Trump presidency, and you came through like champions! In judging, I considered creativity, rationale and whether the word elicited a visceral, emotional response; did it make me cry out, “Yes! I feel that!”

DebraDeAngeloW

Before sharing the winner, I’ll first share the others, because you people really outdid yourselves.

First, there’s Richard, who suggested “Anticipatrumpaggedon.” Nice. Preemptive. It captures the dread of the Usurper in Chief destroying the world. It’s a nice embellishment to entries from Jem and Tony: “Trumpageddon.” Tony had a second entry, “having the DTs (delirium tremens)… the Donald Trumps” and then there was Joe, who suggested “terrification.”

The DTs. Those create some terrification for sure.

“Drumphobia, Trumpidation and Trumpanic,” were offered by Darell, who added, “This isn’t easy!”

No, Darell. It’s not. Words are very, very hard and should only be left to the professionals.

John offered, “I’m Trumpatized” and “I’m suffering from Trumpatic brain injury.” John. Dude. Cognitive dissonance has been banging around in my skull like a tennis shoe in the dryer. I have some serious Trumpatic brain injury.

“Catastrumpy,” came from Laurie, who added, “At least we can laugh a bit about the tragic situation.” Amen to that, my friend. Laughter will sustain us. That, and wine.

Edmund said, “I am ‘Trumpfounded’ as to how he could have won the election and am full of ‘Trumpidation’ as to what’s to come.” Well, Edmund, we’re all full of Trumpidation. Because of Anticipatrumpageddon

Billie was a busy bee indeed. He entered Snake Oil Salesman SOS, Fopish Upside-Down Hate-Filled Ridiculous Egomaniacal Radical (FUHRER), Career Conman and Demagogue. Most aren’t really new words, however, Billie gave new depth to “führer” as I’m sure Trump himself will do as well.

Michael was even busier.

“Debra, your Sunday column perfectly captured my feelings about the Trump catastrophe. It was the column I could have written (if I had a column, and if I could write),” said Michael. “Your writing is so beautifully pungent. I think you and Maureen Dowd must have had a shared ancestor somewhere along the line.”

Flattery will get you everywhere, Michael. Maybe not first place, but comparing me to Maureen Dowd makes you my new most favorite person in the world!

Michael’s entries were “Incredibiliphobia” (or, “electoral incredibiliphobia”); “Trumpastrophe”; and “Rabbitholism,” “acute rabbitholism” and “traumatic rabbitholism.”

We are definitely down the rabbit hole now, Alice.

“This is almost fun, till I remember Nero had fun while Rome burned,” Michael added. “Thanks for the diversion!”

You’re welcome, Michael. However, I think Trump is more Caligula than Nero.

Rosemary had the longest entry: “extradreadedpsychelisticatastrophicoutcome,” which might be a bit problematic in practice: “I feel extradelicious… dreadapsychotic… psychadelical… oh hell! I’m freaking out!!!”

P.S. Rosemary — my spellcheck just blew up.

“Tweety Bird will be leading us into dystrumpia, but there is no word I can invent that will cover the continuing injustice over voting rights, the bigotry of his followers and, I’m sorry to say, his fellow Republicans, and the coming assault on our country’s environment and population,” commented Kathy. While Kathy may be at a loss for words, “Tweety Bird” is priceless.

“The feeling of dread and despair we are all experiencing is ‘Trumpfeasant,’ ”  said Alvin, explaining, “Most things he will do will fall under the category of Trumpfeasance. Modifying the words ‘malfeasant’ and ‘malfeasance’ by replacing ‘mal’ with Trump seems appropriate. Mal in Latin (as you probably know) means bad, ill or wrong. Feasance is from the Old French ‘faisance’ meaning action, deed or enactment.

“Trump” as synonymous with “mal”… bad, ill or wrong. Substitute “and” for “or” and I think we have it.

Adrienne’s entry also came with a language lesson: “You probably know his family name in its original German form is Drumpf. My choice — on the model of borrowed terms like Fahrvergnügen — is intended to recall the awful historical German he resembles: Drumpfenschreck = Horror of Trump.” That reminds me of Dreamworks’ Shreck — another horrible ogre, but with a heart of gold. Trump’s heart is likely the only thing he has that isn’t made of gold, if he has one at all.

“My entry in your adjective contest is “Trump-struck” due to the still overwhelming feeling I get every time I think about him and the future of the democracy,” said Fran.

Great entry. Thanks, Fran, and sorry your tablemates had to put up with your LOL-ing. (A little private joke between me and Fran.)

That leaves Lena and Alicia, offering the same word: “Trumpled.”

Bingo. That’s it. That’s the feeling. Trumpled.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a tie!

“I try to manage this stress but every news bite is more like rubbing salt into an unhealed wound,” says Lena, noting that watching Trump’s cabinet picks made her ulcers flare up.

(Note to self: Invest in Maalox.)

“Won’t some Republican please show some backbone, ounce of common sense, sign of caring for our country, the citizens, the elderly, the disadvantaged, the air, the world, anything!”

No, Lena. They will not.

“I feel Trumpled in every way.”

As I said, Lena, “Bingo.”

Alicia even defined “Trumpled”: “To feel trampled or crumpled physically, mentally and emotionally each time the reality of a Trump presidency asserts itself through thought or external stimuli. The deflated, sad and fearful state of one who contemplates a Trump presidency or other inappropriate behavior instigated by one who models Trump behavior.”

Alicia added, “I enjoy your column. Laughter and smiles are a bit difficult to sustain at the moment and so I find it rather exceptional that your writing can generate that precious commodity while touching on the noxiousness.”

It’s what I do, Alicia, it’s what I do.

Hats off to all the entrants and our winners, who will get a signed copy of “Cats, Dogs, and Other Things That Poop in the Yard”! Let’s stick together and laugh whenever we can. It helps when you’re feeling Trumpled.

— Email Debra DeAngelo at debra@wintersexpress.com; read more of her work at www.wintersexpress.com and www.ipinionsyndicate.com

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